We Got the FUNK

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

How I Failed my Marriage and How I am Fixing it.

In 2001, at the young age of 16, I walked into a bowling alley with a couple friends and walked out smitten with a man that I had just met.  In 2007, at a Red Lobster in Colorado, this man asked me to marry him.  In 2008, we were married in front of 400+ people in what is often called the BEST WEDDING EVER!


Fast forward to 2016.  We are 8 years into this marriage with two young kids and while that is all wonderful, he simultaneously was also trying to cope with both his parents passings along with the majority of the people he grew up surrounded by dying.  For the last 8 years of our marriage, death has been such a normality that I purchased clothes for our kids with the thought of them looking nice at funerals.


We grew apart.  While I was blinded by the parenting demands and needs that our kids had, he was trying to process the huge losses that he had endured with little sympathy from this exhausted new mom.  Instead of being a supportive and loving wife, I became bitter that this man was not as involved and helpful as I had expected him to be.  I felt let down.  I never even considered the fact that he was trying to cope with something that I don't quite understand.  My sister said it best, "you truly can't understand how they are feeling or mourning because you did not have the same relationship with that person that they did."


In 2015, his grandpa (his father figure), passed away.  My husband had just left him, after spending days at his bedside to come home and take a shower and kiss his kids and wife.  In that short 40 minutes that he was gone, grandpa left this Earth and took the final piece of my husbands childhood and security with him.  I knew it was going to be hard on him.  I knew how close they were, but I was dealing with graduate school, these precious little ones and everything else that comes with being a mom.  I gave him space, I tried to encourage him to see a counselor, what I didn't do, was give him my time.


He pulled farther away from our family.  Everyone that he had been close to and loved was dying rapidly and he couldn't bear to get close to us subconsciously.  Still he tried to maintain these relationships, he put up a front, he genuinely tried...until he could not anymore.  He started behaving and making decisions that are way out of character for him.


The man that I had met 15 years earlier was no longer the man that I knew.  I kept telling my mom that I felt like I didn't know him.  It was so confusing and yet I was still thinking about me.  I told him that he needed to get help or that we would no longer be a family.  So he did.  He went to a doctor and was put on medication.  We both thought this would be an easy fix...but it wasn't.  The meds made his erratic and impulsive decisions even worse and he slunk further into depression.


He broke.  I broke.  We broke.  Our family broke.  Mental illness is no freaking joke.  Death and the way that people process it is no joke and should never be judged.  Marriage is ridiculously hard and trying.  Last year everything I had thought our lives were, was challenged.  I had to re-examine where we stood as a family, how I stood as an individual, all while considering the fact that we took vows; "in sickness and in health, till death do us part."  Those vows rang in my head consistently.  So we pushed through, he pushed through, I made adjustments and we continued to try.  The entire time knowing that we loved each other, but that things were just not right.  We had neglected our marriage, our personal selves and everything that had made us so strong in the beginning.


I had to take a long hard look at myself last year.  This perfect family that we appear to be, was not perfect.  We were not healthy and everything was just wrong.  Through setbacks and triumphs we are still together.  We are communicating and we are still trying and that is the most important thing.  I don't know what the future holds, I hope that we are finally getting to a better point, but I also know how easily things could change.  It took me almost a year to write this post.  To put into words how my marriage was failing and how we were both responsible.  I neglected my husbands needs and he neglected ours.

On New Years Eve, we sat down and went through an article about the 25 needs of a good marriage and we discussed each and every one of them and how we were doing with them.  We identified areas that we definitely needed to focus on and as a team (finally a team!), we made goals.  The following day we shared our marriage resolutions and although it has only been 17 days.  I think both of us feel like we are on a good path.

We need positivity in our lives and we need all the love and support that can be sent our way.  I learned far more about mental illness and depression this past year than I ever thought possible and when they say that it is invisible, they don't just mean that outsiders can't see that you are sick, they also mean that you may not be able to tell that you are sick.  Looking back there were so many warning signs for both of us and we just ignored them.  Please do not ignore these.  Take care of your mental health and take care of your loved ones.

Each day is a step forward, even if we stumble...we stumble together and that is how we are going to fix this marriage.

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Wednesday, January 11, 2017

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Monday, January 9, 2017

That Time my Kid Flooded our House

I live with two amazing, beautiful and smart children whom I adore.  They are pretty self sufficient when it comes to waking up, getting dressed, brushing their teeth and even getting snacks and going to the bathroom.  I thought. 


Until yesterday morning, when my youngest came banging on our bedroom door at 8 AM (I thought we would get to sleep in a bit), exclaiming "The Bathroom is Leaking"!  I quickly checked the kids bathroom next to our room and nothing...and then I heard it. Rushing water. 


I ran downstairs and could see that the water had flooded the 1/2 bathroom off of the kitchen, 1/2 of our kitchen and about a 2 ft x 5 ft section of our living room.  I yelled to the husband because oddly enough, I know a lot of things, but turning off the water is apparently not one that I knew previously to this.  He comes barreling downstairs and shuts the water off.  Damage was done, clean up needed to happen.  The husband and I got to work and within about 30 minutes we had the majority of the water cleaned up, the toilet fixed and were locating fans to start drying out everything. 


We realized relatively quickly that the water had already seeped through our tile into our sub-flooring and our basement below.  Both the husband and I were panicked about this and when we went downstairs we were elated to see that the water was pretty contained to our utility room.  We got to work trying to stop drips and redirect the water, while I cleared out boxes and items to make sure everything was properly dried.  Our basement currently is in a state of emergency, but still we are thankful. 


We are thankful that our child did come wake us up before the flooding was even worse.  We are thankful that the water did NOT get into the finished part of the basement.  We are thankful that we had everything necessary to clean up the flood.  We are thankful that nothing was destroyed...seriously, not one thing.  Boxes were wet, but miraculously everything inside was dry. This is definitely something we will never forget!  

So have you ever had to deal with a flood?

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Friday, January 6, 2017

How My Kid Learned to Tie his Shoes in 3 Minutes

My son set a couple goals over our holiday break.  One of the big ones was that he wanted to learn to tie his shoes.  So in true procrastination form, the night before we went back to school, I pulled up this video on YouTube and within minutes my little boy was happily tying his shoes!

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He was so happy that he asked me to take a video and send it to his daddy and grandma.  The quality and angle are obviously not the best, but this was within minutes of trying out the method I will discuss below!  It was awesome to see something that my son has struggled to learn, completely click and his face just light up. 


The first step that parents need to do is color code the laces. You do this by using two different colored sharpies and marking on the laces.  You will also tie a knot in the lace that is not colored. In the video mentioned at the top of this post, the lady shows you exactly how to do this. 

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After the laces are set up, show your child how to thread the laces into your first knot and have them complete that step over and over until they are successful many times. 

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Next, have your child match up the colors on the lace that you marked to create the first bow.  The lady in the video calls this the trunk. 

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Now take the other lace that you tied the knot in and wrap it around the trunk of the colored lace. 

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When your child sees the knot through the loop, have them pull both the knot and the "leaves" of the colored lace (The leaves are the green part on my picture). 

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Shoe is tied and everyone is happy!  It is recommended that you use the flat white cotton laces when your children are learning to tie shoes.  In addition, each step should be practiced over and over before moving onto the next step.  I will say that it went much faster than I ever expected and the frustration level that we had previously been dealing with before learning of this technique was nonexistent!


To celebrate, the kids and I took an impromptu late night run for ice cream in the cold!  It was awesome and we are so proud of our little boy and extremely thankful for this technique!  Hope it helps you out as well!


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Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2017 Word of the Year

Each year I choose a word to focus on.  Last year the word was "ME".  I wanted to focus on me, to be a better mom and was inspired by Jada Pinkett Smith to be a better me so that I could be a better mom and person.  This year I am choosing a word that I hope will motivate me to continue to push through.

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2016 was fraught with a lot of hardships and overcoming those was tough but made me stronger.  Although it was not my word last year, I want to use it to push me through this year.

I am hopeful that 2017 will not be as hard of a struggle.  I pray for peace in our mental illness struggles, in my husbands focus on his family, in my focus on being a better wife and mother, in our financials, in dealing with the impending passing of our pup and in trusting so many different things and people.

I know there is a lot that I will need to overcome to get to a point in my depression and anxiety where I feel worthwhile and valued.

I know that I have some blog work to do to overcome and accomplish the goals that I have here and although I have done one hell of a job getting to a point where I feel proud of my work, I want to do more, I want to inspire others and I want to build this blog even more.

I know that I need to overcome my medical issues.  I gave up last year and I need to get back on it this year.  I gained nearly 10 lbs and that is just not acceptable when the weight went on, only because I chose to feed my depression with sugar and ignore the fact that my body cannot deal with sugar like others can.  Diabetes is no joke.  I am already taking steps with this.  The husband and I are going to issue challenges to each other to complete each day for short amounts of exercise and other fun rewards.

I will overcome the struggles of 2016 that linger and I will overcome anything that is presented to me in 2017.

What is your word?

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Monday, January 2, 2017

Our 2016 Recap

The other day I went through my readers top posts from 2016 and now I wanted to do my favorite post!  A review of our own personal year!

January started with a focus on bettering myself, my health and my needs.  My husband and I attended a Nuggets game and had a blast.  Our oldest lost his first tooth and I made a great pillow for him to put his lost tooth in.  I chronicled my weight loss and diabetes struggles as well.

February we took our family to check out Marvel Universe Live, had our first snow day of 2016 but 3rd of the school year.  Our Broncos won Super Bowl 50 too!  I also began to prepare for our little peanuts 3rd birthday and I learned exactly why it is important to leave the haircuts to the professionals.

The month of March began with me eager to finish graduate school.  From there it was a mad dash to have our peanuts 3rd birthday and it was a smashing Frozen themed success.  Next up was Easter, which of course was ruined by my kid.  Then I admitted to myself and the world that I fell off the wagon.

April started with the most awful cold and my completion of the graduate program which had me asking "Whoa...What Happened"?  Once everyone was feeling ok, we were able to go to our favorite family event, Disney On Ice.  Finally, we had our little boy's 6th Super Mario Birthday Celebration!

May started out with my graduation from my Masters program.  Then I was on my way to my very first blogging conference along with my very first trip to New York City!  The school year was winding down and my son had his first field day.  Then finals hit and school was out for all of us!  SUMMER!

While I had hoped that 2016 would offer a lot of success for our family, I learned that we were in for a ride of struggles in June and still tried to be optimistic.  Our little guy started playing T-Ball and did such a great job.  In addition, the husband and I, along with some friends and family took off on a wonderful trip to Cancun, Mexico.

In July, I was able to do a little guest room makeover which was wonderful.  We also started to fully prepare for my sister's little boy and I shared her Nautical Baby Shower.  We were invited to The Melting Pot for a Superhero event and really had a wonderful time.  I also shared that although it appeared that we had a lot to be thankful for, I was having a hard time getting out of the funk that I was in.  July ended with our little family sharing a day at the Colorado Rockies game.

August was a month where I finally started to talk about some of the issues I was facing.  Along with that going on, we had to get a new roof, I had a car accident and we spent some time at the fair.  Our little boy started 1st grade and I was able to share a wonderful afternoon with an old friend.

We began September with a fun family camping trip over Labor Day.  However, the best part of my year was that I was able to share my sweet nephew with the world.  Our peanut started preschool and is thriving.  I also shared with my readers part of the reason that I was still struggling with depression.    Then our family was hit with the awful news that our dog was entering hospice.

October was pretty quick for us, mainly because we caught the flu!  However, earlier in the month we were able to take a drive up to see the leaves changing which was wonderful.  Also, I shared the 50's photoshoot that my kids did!  It was awesome.

November, I jumped right back into the blogging business and it was blessed insanity.  I shared our Halloween costumes which were a huge hit.  I also met a huge goal to work with American Girl brand and make my little girls wishes come true.  We visited Santa and I also picked out Christmas cards.  The holiday season was in full swing.

Our year closed out with some happiness to share, our oldest was named Student of the Trimester.  Then I shared a bit more about where I was at in my depression and anxiety struggles.  Our holiday celebrations continued with my attempt at The Nutcracker, our family attending Disney on Ice and a wonderfully blessed Christmas.

2016 had its blessings and struggles and looking back it is nice to see that a year that felt very hard to get through really was full of love and time with family.  I cannot wait to see what 2017 brings.

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Friday, December 30, 2016

Top 10 Posts of 2016

2016 has been a year of yet more growth for my little blog.  I am proud of where we have gotten and looking back at the work that I have put in this year, I am excited to see where next year will take me! I thought I would share the top 10 posts from my readers this year!  These are huge hits on Pinterest and get great feedback!

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I started the year out with a goal to lose weight and get my diabetes under control.  Crafting recipes that were low carb and delicious was one of my top goals.  Check out this recipe that people go crazy for here.
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Learned to eat better meant that I needed a guide.  I found this handy printable online and since then it has been shared more than 30,000 times!  I can tell you that when I was on plan eating this way, I lost over 20lbs, fairly quickly and I felt awesome.  Time to get back on track for sure!

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Some big highlights to our year were about our children.  Our little princess loves her Elsa and throwing a Frozen themed party would not have been complete without the ice queen and ice princess.  You can read more about how Princess Ever After made our day amazing!

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Princesses and Disney are themes in our lives that I just love.  So when I was asked to Dream Big Princess, I did so on a budget!  Check out how I created this dream board and dress up station!

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One of my OCD ticks is that I have to have a clean home.  I just do not work well if my space is messy.  Now that is not to say that I don't have messes (oh we do!), but I have came up with some easy tips to keep your home sparkling and people went crazy for them!  Take a peek.

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Not to be left out, our amazing little boy wanted a Super Mario Brothers Swim party...that just decided to coincide with a HUGE blizzard.  Take a peak at how we pulled off a great party with the help of Oriental Trading.

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This year was rough, but one of the best parts of the year was getting to become an auntie to a precious little boy.  However, we had to welcome him first and prepare his parents with this unbelievable Nautical Themed Baby Shower!  You have to see it to believe it.

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I do a lot of sponsored posts on this blog, but I always make sure to only share products and items that our family truly uses and believes in.  However, sometimes a product comes along that you just have to share even without a sponsorship.  ROG3 is that product and you can see why in my post here.

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I was asked this year why did I become a blogger and I shared a bit of my story here...then I shared these amazing Cheesecake Stuffed Chocolate Covered Strawberries and they took off! Recipe with a video is in this post.

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Some of my favorite posts to write are those where I get to give to others.  This post on an On the Go Fishing kit was one of my favorites too!  My husband loved it and it was easy to see why you all went crazy for it as well!  Take a peek. 

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Although I am eager to say goodbye to 2016, I am thankful as ever for the opportunities that this little blog has provided my family and I.  I am thankful for you all and I am ever thankful that even outside of the classroom I can help people!  Here is to the end of 2016 and the beginning of what I only can hope is 1/10th better than this year. 

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Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Christmas 2016

Around midnight on Christmas, I had this epiphany.  2016 has by far been the worst year for our family as far as depression, anxiety and financials go.  However, our issues are only American issues. Comparatively, my family and I are so blessed.  We have a beautiful home, more than one reliable vehicle, jobs, our physical health and family that loves us.  We were able to have a Christmas that many cannot and we are beyond thankful.


Our Christmas weekend celebrations started at my parent's house.  We gathered with my parent's, great uncle, and my sister and her family for a nice dinner and some presents.  Of course my favorite nugget was dressed in his best and we had to do a photoshoot.  Obviously I am his favorite aunt and he loves to pose with me.

We also had an exciting dance party (which you can view here), and some quality discussions that included a lot of happy smiles, drooling and squeals because we love each other SO much!


The kids took the classic photos in front of the Christmas tree's and we opened gifts.  My kids were spoiled by my family and had a great Christmas.  The nugget slept through gifts and but I hear he enjoyed the noisy toys that we purchased him.


Christmas morning is normally full of family.  My parents and the hubby's Aunt come over and we open gifts.  However, the night before the tiny girl's eye was goopy and pink.  So of course we woke the next morning with full blown pink eye.  No guest's needed to share in that fun.  So we had a quiet Christmas morning for the first time with just our family. 


I shop year round for Christmas.  When I find something on clearance or great deals then I purchase it.  This year with our finances being pretty tight I was so thankful that I had found such great clearance deals throughout the year.  The only gifts that I had to find before Christmas for our kids were the ones that they asked Santa for. 


Our oldest has been begging for a Wii U.  I had tried valiantly to find a good deal on one and came up empty handed.  Finally on Thanksgiving, I snagged a great Ebay win well within budget that left a bit of our budget over for the Skylanders set he had also asked for.  We had one very happy little boy!


The littlest peanut has an obsession with Moana right now and has been very clear in asking for a Moana dress and the pig.  The dress was an easy black Friday find, the accessories and pig were not as easy, but I managed to get those on a great deal too.


Our kids were so happy and so blessed and so were the husband and I!  Although 2016 has not been our year, it has not been a complete disaster.  We are ending it with an appreciation for each other, love and many blessings.  

I hope your Holiday's were great!

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Monday, December 26, 2016

Disney On Ice Worlds of Enchantment

Disclosure: We received free tickets in exchange for our honest review, however we would have attended regardless because this is a family tradition. 

I looked in my kitchen cupboards the other day and memories of every Disney On Ice we have attended came flooding back.  I started to lay these out and realized that my mom must have several of our cups hidden away because I could only find 3 of our older cups from the beginning of Disney On Ice.

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As I have said before we have attended every show that has came through Denver with the exception of just a couple.  We are huge Disney On Ice fans and our holiday celebrations would not be complete without a trip to the ice show.  Growing up our grandma used to take us to the shows and our souvenir as well as our snack was the yummy flavored ice cups!

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With grandmas passing, my sister and I have carried on the tradition with our own children and our mom.  We go to the shows, purchase the cups, dress up and love the time with our family.  

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This year we even brought the tiniest member of our family to his first show too!  He watched, he slept, he ate and he had a great time!

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This seasons show was World's of Enchantment.  It was a great combination of some of our favorite shows like Toy Story, The Little Mermaid, Cars and Frozen!  However, the kids always go crazy when Mickey and Minnie hit the ice!

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Toy Story 3 was a newer show portion that I had not seen yet.  I loved that they focused on Toy Story 3 (hopefully to prep us for the upcoming Toy Story 4!!!), and that the costumes and performers were so into what they were doing.  This portion of the show was action packed, fun and my kids were on the edge of their seats as the toys fought for their independence!

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The Little Mermaid was up next and my little princess and I were all eyes and ears.  We were singing and dancing and oohing and ahhing through the amazing performance, lifts and jumps!  It was fantastic!

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Intermission was just the perfect time to snap a few photos of our favorite little baby and his adorable Mickey Mouse outfit!  He was alert most of the time and smiling a lot!

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Cars was up next and my boy was so excited for this portion.  He loved watching the Cars navigate on the ice and interact.  I think he wanted this section of the show to take much longer because he is a huge Cars fan.  It always amazes me watching the drivers control the cars on the ice as well!

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The show ended with Frozen.  We had already seen this show in its entirety last year and it was amazing so when Anna and Elsa hit the ice, my little girl was on cloud nine!  She stood up and sang and danced through this entire section and truly loved it! Frozen was a fantastic ending to the World's of Enchantment!

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When the show ended, everyone was a bit sad, except this guy.  He basically laughed and smiled all the way home!  Guess the Disney Magic really hit him!

Disney On Ice Worlds of Enchantment is coming to a city near you!  Check here for tickets and dates! It is a great way to get your Disney fix and enjoy family time together!  We will obviously be back for more soon!

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Saturday, December 24, 2016

Portable North Pole Walk Through!

Disclosure: I received the premium version of the Portable North Pole for free in exchange for my social shares.  Either way, I would have downloaded and used it because we love it!

Earlier this season, I shared with you the discount code for the Portable North Pole.  We have used the PNP for the last 6 years and love it.  My son looks forward to his video every single year and our daughter is just starting to get the idea. With today being Christmas Eve, it might be fun for you to set up a quick video and some Santa magic for your littles.

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Downloading the app is quick and easy and so is set up.  Just enter your email and login information.  From there you set up a code for the parent corner and you can create a phone call and videos!  Also all your children's information is stored in the app so you can use it from year to year!

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Once you have created the videos then you can make them visible in the kids corner very easily and your children can view them.  The smiles on their faces as their watch their personalized videos is so awesome.  My kids watch these videos over and over again.  I have also used the phone call feature when my kids are not behaving the best.  It worked wonders and I use it year round!

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The videos are awesome because you can put your children's photos in them as well as other awesome details.  I used the premium version this year and loved that I could also show the gift that my child asked Santa for!

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You can bet that my son was checking if he was on the nice list daily after seeing his prospective gift in his video.  The boy has been fantastic (although he almost always is anyway)!

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The kids corner not only has the video messages from Santa and his elves, but also offers some games for kids to play.  These change each year, so you need to download the newest PNP each season.

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The matching game is our little girls favorite.  She loves puzzles and matching and plays this every single day.  The girl is getting really good at it!

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The talking elf is really funny and my kids spent hours giggling with the elves this year.  This would definitely be something fun to share with friends and family on Christmas Eve!

Make sure you download your Portable North Pole Console and share a video with a little love in your life, so much fun!



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