My Son is a Monster...err toddler |We Got the FUNK

Monday, May 2, 2011

My Son is a Monster...err toddler

Well, this last week has been interesting in the house of Funk. That beautiful baby I enjoyed a few weeks ago has turned into a full blown, attention thriving, no sleep, disaster making monster toddler. As we speak right now he is tearing magazines up and trying to ride the dog. Let me remind you he is just barely a year old. In my struggle to be "the perfect mommy" I have had mixed emotions about his behavior and how to handle it. It all started last Tuesday night. Eyan was happy, fed, and TIRED. Boy was he tired. My beautiful baby boy and I went and did the whole nighttime routine us new moms stick to; bath, lotion, bottle, book, kisses, bed. Just as I was about to walk out the door he rolls over throws his bottle out of the crib and starts screaming. At first I thought he was hurt because that was the scream he did, but then I realized he just wanted mommy. So being the great mommy I am (see: sucker) , I grabbed him up, picked up his bottle and rocked him to sleepy-land...or so I thought. Just as I went to lay him in his crib he repeated the scene from earlier. Only now with more frustration, anger and noise. I tried again, and again, and again, well you see where this is going. I slept all of what I think was like 1 hour before I needed to leave for work.

This scenario played out on Wednesday night as well and by Thursday night my amazing mother decided she would give Jason and I a break from the crazy ninja baby. Best night of sleep ever...for both of us apparently. My mother said Eyan slept great. He only woke up one time and went to bed just fine. DAMN! That was the first thought in my head when I heard that. Followed that one up with "why me?" Yup you read that right. I actually felt bad for myself about not being capable of putting my own child to bed. My mom can apparently do it just fine, so why can't I? What changed?

I tossed all those emotions to the side, decided that maybe it was just those two nights and he would sleep for me. HE DID! Friday night that boy slept from 9:00 to 6:00! Then Saturday evening came...Toddler Monster Attacked. He screamed and cried and threw himself around his crib and tossed every blanket, toy and bottle he could. He got so upset he threw up. I kept trying to calm him down. I Ferbered that baby like a good mommy would, finally he gave in and slept. I honestly could not tell you how long though because I was so sleep deprived that I don't know when he went to sleep and when he woke up. Sunday night was not much better.

I am hoping and praying that this little boy decides that sleep is something he enjoys, because he loves his mommy! OHHH early Mothers Day Gift idea: 1 month of sleeping from 8 to 8! Oh please God help us.

So this brings me to something. I have 3.5 weeks left of school and I need ALL the sleep and motivation I can get. See I have a hernia and no energy to do anything. I got this wonderful hernia from pushing so incredibly hard to get this ninja baby out (even though he was coming out ear first and his shoulders were perpendicular to my hips). That kid was not coming out. That wonderful hernia got reactivated when I made the conscious (see: sober) decision to skate in a fundraiser roller derby bout for a derby friend of mine who has MS. I retired from derby close to 3 yrs ago and have recently taken up retired derby which honestly is a heck of a lot of fun, but gives you the option to participate in drills and scrimmaging as you would like. I LOVE IT, but have been being careful not to agitate the hernia, so I haven't being doing much hitting. DUMB idea to skate the MS bout. There was hitting everywhere and although I tried to avoid, sometimes you just gotta go for it. Well I regretted that for the rest of the week. My doctor told me I need to tighten up the stomach muscles and that *might* help me avoid surgery. So I found a cheap treadmill online, dug out the exercise ball and weights and decided on Monday I was going back on my diabetes diet and starting to work out again. [yes I have type 2 diabetes, right now I am considered in my "honeymoon" period so I can eat "normal (doritos, ice cream, easter candy, carbs)" but at some point my diabetes will rear its ugly head and I will again be forced to eat whole grains, cut the sugar and live a life of veggies and water. Until then I was all about BRING ON THE CRAP FOOD! Oh how I love crap food.] Ok back to the story and my real reason for blogging today!


I ate pretty dang well & I exercised. I ran for 5 minutes (don't laugh, it's a start and I freaking hate running more than I hate not sleeping) and I did a set of 50 sit ups on the exercise ball, then my hernia started hurting so I decided to call it a work out. I had more energy and I cooked and did some work! I am proud so you should be too! My goal is to run for 15 minutes straight by the end of week 2 and be up to 1000 crunches/sit ups. I have no real "weight loss" plan, but maybe I will drop a few or maybe I won't.

Well I think that is the blog this week. My monster ninja toddler is currently biting his own hand and throwing himself down on the floor with screaming and anger! YAY ME!

Have a good week and here is a picture of the ninja monster toddler:

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