Thursday Thoughts... |We Got the FUNK

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Thursday Thoughts...

I swear my mind is swirling yet empty all at once.  Do you ever have those moments?  I sat down to write this and literally NOTHING came out, yet I could seriously not stop thinking.  What in the heck!

I couldn't decide what to ramble about.  I could talk about my appointment on Tuesday and how that went.  I could talk about this list of baby stuff I actually have to get done.  I could talk about work.  I could talk about the change in friendships as my family expands.  I could talk about blogging goals over the next year, or my plans for graduate school.  I could just talk about none of that because is any of it really that interesting?

Right now I am sitting in my 1st hour biology class, watching my students build DNA molecules.  They are so self-directed today which is nice because the last week and a 1/2 I have been teaching teaching teaching and I think they are all tired of me talking.  I cannot believe that in less than 8 weeks I will be handing my classroom over to my awesome long-term substitute.  I am actually nervous about this.  With Eyan I could not wait to get out of the classroom and away from the HELL that was my previous building, but here, I feel at home.  I feel like I am actually making a huge difference and turning my control over to another person just seems a bit scary.  Add to that the fact that I still have my AP curriculum to organize before mid-February, all my sub plans to get ready, and prepare my kids for the transition in cooperation with my long-term sub and I am feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Lately I have been struggling with relationships in my life.  Maybe it's just that we (Jason and I) have just not had much time to nurture the relationships we have or maybe it's because we are in a different place in our lives then anyone else.  Whatever the reason, it has felt fairly lonely.  I really try hard to call and talk to my friends but they are all busy.  Getting together with family has been near impossible because well between the basement chaos and us just trying to keep up with day to day stuff there is not much time.  What is driving me even more insane is that I feel like as my family is growing my very best friends and I are drifting apart through NO FAULT of anyone...just life.  We are just in different points in our lives and I feel pretty alone in what have now become my main focus and priorities.  It's obviously to be expected, but it sucks.   I created a FB group for other moms so we can have playdates like once a month.  I need to schedule these out ASAP so we can all actually get together and have a good time and maybe I can add to my close friends that have the same priorities.  Don't get me wrong my best friends are still there for me, we still talk, but my chats consist of Eyan and pregnancy and I am sure they are bored.  I even find that Jason and I are bickering more because even our relationship hasn't truly been nurtured.  We do have plans to add our date nights back in and are looking at different options for a 5-year wedding anniversary trip this summer, so I know that will help.  Hopefully the next couple weeks will slow down and we will have a month where we can just build relationships and see family and friends.  Believe me we are ready for it!

I am just about ready to sit down and make a ridiculously long list of crap I still need to get accomplished for Emberlynn's arrival.  I know the nursery needs to get rearranged and the bedding/linens will add a lot.  I know that I have to get her name finished and the room decorated.  I know I want to actually get some pages of her scrapbook completed and that we have to purchase a mattress for her.  I need to wash clothes and organize drawers and buy diapers and wipes and probably more clothes.  We have got A LOT done.  We have purchased a double sit and stand stroller and a baby monitor (we still use Eyan's for the light feature), we have the furniture set up and the room painted.  I have purchased all the fabric for her room, we have a car seat and diaper bag.  If she showed up today (which she better not) we would be fine.  It's not like I have not been through this whole baby business before, so maybe that is why I almost feel like there is no hurry.  On a great note, the perinatologist (high risk doc) said that Tuesday was my last appointment with him and that baby and I look FANTASTIC!  He is very proud of my weight gain, the baby looks phenomenal and my BP is great.  She is measuring perfect and weighing in at around 3.12lbs and is in the 49th percentile.  The doc made me laugh because apparently her heart is so beautiful and he was just getting great pictures of that which made him pretty excited.  He also said that her brain already has numerous folds in it which is not typical of babies at 31 weeks gestation and makes me feel like she is already a genius :)!

I think that is enough of a brain dump.  What are your thoughts this Thursday?



PS:  Hop over to Building Our Story today and wish Censie a BIG HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

19 comments:

  1. It is crazy how busy life is and how it affects relationships.

    Don't worry about your class as I am sure they will be in good hands!

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