Exactly the Parent I Never Pictured |We Got the FUNK

Thursday, June 5, 2014

Exactly the Parent I Never Pictured

Lately there has been several posts going around the Facebook land about people unsure of their parenting skills and not being the parent they thought they would be.  I think I might be in the minority then when I say I'm exactly who I never imagined.

All I see is happy, no expectations, no worries, just happy
I always find it a little odd when people make comments about becoming their parents or saying things to their kids that their parents said to them.  Our parents did the best they could with what they had and clearly we turned out decent, so why not repeat a little of what we know worked on us.  I mean seriously, had my parents not repeated morals about family coming first, never lying, being a hard worker and trust above all, I might actually be a drug addict (and that is truly no lie...but definitely a story for another post).  My parents are fantastic role models so why on Earth would I worry and consider the type of parent I would want to be?

Sure, every parenting style has its flaw, and of course there are those extreme circumstances where parents do not do their job and kids suffer, however, for the most part our parents are our best source of comfort and guidance.  There is nothing wrong with being comfortable following the lead they laid, but know that you will add your own flair and it will be okay.

I was never one of those kids growing up who wanted any particular number if kids, never had names picked out and although I always knew I wanted to be a mom, I never really put much thought into the type of parent I would be.  I just kind of knew I would be a parent...the rest of the "skills" would come.

When we had Eyan I had no clue what I was doing, just like most new parents.  I had a fantastic grouping of role models and knew the basics of feed, change, sleep, but beyond that, I just winged it.  My kids, hubby and I have made what works for us be our parenting style.  No plans, no expectations, just keep them alive, happy (mostly) and meet their needs.  We melded our own upbringings and created something that works for us, and that is they key.  It is not exactly my way and it is not exactly Jason's way, it is our way and exactly the way I never imagined...because I never had expectations.

I make it a point to not really judge other peoples parenting styles, because those people clearly have kept their kids alive, so hey, were all in this together right?  All kidding aside, I really actually pay a lot of attention to the way other people react to their kids in public and I take pointers.  Of course there are fantastic pointers and then there are those that I think "yeah, not going to do that with my kid."  But I do not know their child, I do not know their situation and so truthfully I try (notice try, the human aspect comes in here) to not judge.  Like I said, I am learning, I am figuring this out and I never actually imagined myself as any one type of parent.

I have a hard time building up expectations of the unknown, I typically dwell one fears and doubts and worry.  Maybe that is why I never put much thought into the type of parent I would be.  Maybe I just became the mother I am supposed to be, guided by two humans (and a hubby) who shape my "style" daily.

Believe me, I am far from perfect, I am learning, I am not as laid back as this post seems (far from it), but I know that I have the best of intentions and that I do not want to fail at this parenting thing.  I think as long as I keep trying, and keep learning and keep loving, we are going to be ok.  I think that is the key, never give up and know that you are enough, you are doing it right and you are EXACTLY the parent you are supposed to be.

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6 comments:

  1. this post is in my top 10 post that you have written!! I love love love this, especially the last 2 paragraphs!

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    1. Thank you Amanda! I love the support and honest feedback you leave me <3

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  2. YOu are the perfect mom for your kids. Honestly, I think the kids shape us as parents.

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  3. The thing I love about parenting is we are exactly who our kids needs. That's so important to remember so we don't go around judging or comparing ourselves to others. Great post!

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  4. Yes! I am so thankful others realize this

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