I Have No Idea How to Parent |We Got the FUNK

Friday, July 3, 2015

I Have No Idea How to Parent

Yesterday after a particularly rough day with my children where I was embarrassed, frustrated and thoroughly tired those exact thoughts came to my head.  They are so truthful.  I literally have no real idea what I am doing as a parent most days, I just make it up.

I have no idea how to parent, parenting tips, realistic parenting tips

Yesterday was just one in a string of days that proved to me that parenting takes your basic survival skills and tests them on another human.

I am thankful that I had a couple level headed ladies with me yesterday because after my 5 year old forgot that he needs to listen because new friends were around or, dumping the entire contents of my off balanced stroller not once, but twice or an over tired 2 year old absolutely losing her mind, or all the whining, entitled attitudes and lack of general manners, I almost lost it.  I believe my exact words were "I am done with this $#!%".

You see I have SO many people tell me that I look like a mom that has it all together, that my social life appears that my kids are well-behaved, that I am a perfect mom.  Well let's just clear some stuff up. I don't, they are not and I am far from.

Most of the time my house looks like this:

Obviously with my OCD I do clean constantly, but still folks, my kids are no help.  I pretty much have to threaten to burn all their toys and trash things before they are willing to pitch in. 

I have to sneak candy from them because they would live on junk food and sometimes do.  

I wish I was kidding but a typical food day in our house is not all these amazing recipes.  Its cereal, chocolate milk, chips, granola bars, apples, macaroni and cheese and then some amazing recipes for dinner.  So basically, I am nailing the dietary needs at dinner time which is also the precise time both kids elect not to eat 5 out of 7 nights a week.  

I too ignore my kids.

Call it self-preservation, but honestly the picture above, a couple hours on an iPad or in front of a TV or letting them play while I check into social media or clean or do something is a daily occurrence. 

I am not a bad parent.  I am a typical parent.  It is OK to be typical.  I figure I can help some of us typical parents out with a couple reassuring tips.
  1. Don't be afraid to be who you are:  You are the best example for your kids and if you pretend constantly to be a different person in public than you are in person you are setting a terrible example for your kids.  So if you lose your mind sometimes, swat a butt or two, drop an F bomb, feed your kids crap and loath cleaning, embrace it.  
  2. One day at a time: Kids do not understand the sense of time, so why should we worry about tomorrow or the future.  (Ok for obvious reasons we should), but realistically, the freak out I had yesterday, the 2 iPad hours my son had after and the crappy dinner we ate because I felt guilty will not be remembered today or probably much.  Kids remember good things and forgive pretty easily.  If you fail, apologize, if you succeed celebrate if you survived, drink.  It is just one day in a string of thousands, you didn't ruin them for life...yet. 
  3. Let them be: Clearly leaving them to their own demise is not the best idea, but I have found that my kids need their quiet time too.  So when I take my "self-preservation time" they get some too.  If that is time on an iPad, in front of a TV or playing with toys, it is ok.  We all get tired of each other. 
Even if you feel like you are doing it completely wrong, you must be doing something right.  Keep trying, keep persevering, keep loving and keep being. 

So what does a typical day look like in your life?