It is 4:30, on the technical first day of break for me. I submitted my initial review for my research yesterday for graduate school so break did not start until today for me. The morning started out really great friends. The kids let me sleep in, and decided to serve themselves a breakfast of cookies and still somehow the entire house was showered and ready to get out the door by 9:00 am.
We headed up north for some haircuts and on our way home grandma called and invited the kids over AFTER NAPS. That was made clear. So in true murphy's law fashion, neither kid cooperated. We got home, both kids went straight to their rooms and I figured I would actually get some blogging done.
You see I have just been feeling blah and exhausted. I stepped away from my blog for a couple days to just rejuvenate and revitalize. I will be back to regular posting tomorrow, but for today I am just trying to survive this parenting thing. Sometimes you just need a little break when you work two jobs, go to school and try to parent. Truly people, I am a complete mess sometimes.
Well that magical nap time was awful. The princess actually may have taken a small nap, but the boy he insisted on arguing and saying some extremely hateful and hurtful things. It is to the point that he is on the naughty list and I am cancelling Christmas.
Yup, you heard that correctly, I am nearly willing to not have Christmas because he told me he wished I was dead, all because I asked him to take a nap or play quietly in his room. My sweet, smart and amazing 5 year old, broke me. I just do not get it.
I calmly asked him if he would be ok if mommy died and he never saw me again. He cried. I showed no emotion. I told him I would not be celebrating a joyous holiday of Christmas with someone who wished me dead. He cried harder. He went to his room. I sat motionless.
What am I doing wrong here folks? I swear my kids get a ton of my attention and snuggles and conversations and present attention. I have worked on not spoiling too excessively and reinforcing positive behaviors. The boy is not responding well and even using some curse words that are just not ok. I am pretty much failing.
My mom suggested counseling, I will be bringing that up at our next appointment. He is five, is this normal? Is this just boundary testing? Right now were both on the naughty list.
Thoughts and ideas are welcome.